I need to make some changes…

December 11, 2011
By

What a week!  I was out of action for a couple of days with a bug – although I think it was my body crying out for a rest as usual.  Anyway, it’s taught me a few things – firstly that spending more than a day in bed doesn’t stop the world going around (life still goes on) and secondly, it gave me lots of thinking time and that’s helped me put a couple of things into perspective.

I’m not going to say it’s been a great week as far as my mood is concerned, but the thinking has led me to the conclusion that doing compressed hours at work is not for me.  I don’t like using the word ’hate’ as it’s so negative, but I absolutely ‘hate’ being out of the house for 12 hours a day, four days a week and it’s been playing on my mind for weeks now. 

As mentioned a few weeks ago, I was considering reverting to my old pattern of working my full-time hours over five days instead of four.  Now, I’m thinking about starting the New Year by giving up my Fridays off. 

Advantages and disadvantages

Of course giving this day up is going to mean that my weekends will be shorter, and the housework, writing and other things I usually do on a ‘catch up’ Friday will now have to be done at the weekend.  The biggest realisation for me (as I was thinking this through) is that by making this change I’LL FEEL LESS OF A PART-TIME MUM than I do now, as I’ll have more time with the family EVERY day not just three days a week. 

We will be able to eat earlier than 7.30pm and I’ll have time to read the girls bedtime stories EVERY day not just some days (one of my favourite times of the day).  I also think it will be less stressful for me for the following reasons and I am actually quite looking forward to making the change: 

  • I can leave slighly later in the morning and come home one and a half hours early.
  • I will be spending less hours in front of the computer at work Monday to Thursday.
  • I will eat my main meal earlier in the evenings which is better for me health wise.
  • I can go to bed earlier and get up earlier to write.
  • With the days being a bit more balanced, I’m hoping it will prevent the tension headache that I get every few weeks (which tends to last for two days).

What did my family say?

My partner is happy with whatever I decide and I’ve casually run my decision by my gorgeous girls – I asked if they would prefer mummy to either come home earlier every day or take/pick them up from school on a Friday.  As suspected, they want me to do both and secretly so do I (but the money situation screams No!).  Their final vote was that they would like to spend more time with mummy every day.

Next steps

The icing on the cake will be for me to find a way to reduce my hours and get my Friday off again.  After all, it was on one of my ‘catch up Fridays’ that I stumbled upon OpenLeaf (as mentioned in the introduction to this story) and this was also a day that I used to catch up with my life coach Helen Jeffery (Inner Rhythms). 

I think this is a good time to share with you something I’ve been reading in chapter 12 of Get the Life you Want (GTLYW) by Noel  Walker (founder of OpenLeaf).  It’s about how you shouldn’t try to rationalise goals or work out how they are going to happen.

“If your wants, dreams and desires – your goals – are what you believe would increase the amount of happiness, joy and pleasure you are able to experience, then it is exactly those goals that you should now focus on.  Believe it and see it happening.

Do not try to rationalise or work out how it is going to happen, as doing so means that you’re only factoring in what you already know, and there are a million and one other ways of achieving the same thing – all of which are currently unknown to you.”

My thoughts

Thinking about how things have come together for me in the past, especially those significant experiences, actually reflects the above. So in order to get my dream of working less hours in my day job, so that I can spend more time on my writing career and also be with my children more (especially whilst they are still young) I need to embrace the above. 

As Noel has said “it’s the battle between how it will come about and how you believe it will – this is what’s causing the problem (and also the friction) within your life”, and after being forced to reflect, I agree. So I have now decided to go back to my old ‘working’ hours, although I must admit prior to this experience, I would have seen this as more of a backward step!

However I have my new objective (dream) clearly in mind! I already know how to make more of the right decisions, but it is funny to be told that all I need to now do is relax and just go with it (and by the way, that’s harder than you think!). Will post progress… Watch this space!

That’s all for this week.  Thank you for popping by and I hope you are having a great day too!

Until next time…

Sandra
Freelance writer
www.sandramadeira.com
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